Mental Health Monday #7: Self-Care Tips, Chrissy Teigen's Postpartum Depression, and Inheriting Trauma from Slavery
Tank and the Bangas, winners of NPR's Tiny Desk Contest and bringers of joy.
Greetings.
Welcome to another edition of Mental Health Monday. As usual, we've got some awesome content to inspire, inform, and assist you on your voyage to emotional and mental wellness. We're tardy to the Tank and the Bangas party, but we're currently pressed to become her BFF and be into everything she's into because where have they been all our lives? They recently won NPR's Tiny Desk contest, and gained millions of new admirers in the process. Add us to the list. Go forth and be joyous.
THIS WEEK'S GOODNESS
"Michelle Obama surprises D.C. students, talks struggles and life goals for two hours" by Perry Stein [Washington Post]
"At one point, a student told Obama of her struggles living in a shelter, and Obama walked the student through steps she could take to achieve her goals. Another student, Williams, told the former first lady she wants to be an anesthesiologist.
“She told me not to let anything get in the way, and she said don’t go back and help everyone until you get where you want to be,” said Williams, who has a 2-year-old son.
Fuller said one student, 18-year-old Vonte Walker, had never talked about his ambitions in school. Since Obama’s visit, he’s been telling the staff of his college plans."
"101 Self-Care Suggestions for When It All Feels Like Too Much" by Annie Wright [The Mighty]
"So if you or someone you love is going through one of these tough times right now, a time where it all just feels like too much, I want to offer up 101 suggestions for self-care to help you or your loved one get through this time.
1. Have a good, long, body-shaking cry.
2. Call a trusted friend or family member and talk it out."
"Trauma From Slavery Can Actually Be Passed Down Through Your Genes" by Lincoln Blades [Teen Vogue]
"Dr. Rachel Yehuda, professor of psychiatry at Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, has conducted a depth of research into epigenetics and the intergenerational transmission of trauma. In layman's terms, she is researching how serious incidents of trauma (i.e. slavery, holocaust, etc.) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be passed down through generations in shared family genes. Her research has revealed that when people experience trauma, it changes their genes in a very specific and noticeable way, so when those people have children and their genes are passed down to their children, the children also inherit the genes affected by trauma."
"Meet Jeff, Lauren and Lloyd, three different people who share one common experience—their lives have been transformed by speaking up for mental health. The film provides a glimpse into their lives and their diagnoses—which include bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression and anxiety—ultimately weaving together a story about how speaking up is key to living well. Beyond Silence, directed by Shaul Schwarz and executive produced by Demi Lovato, celebrates the strength, perseverance and dedication of these courageous individuals determined to break through the silence often associated with mental illness and help others along the way."
Watch Beyond Silence here.
"Chrissy Teigen Opens Up for the First Time About Her Postpartum Depression" by Chrissy Teigen [Glamour]
"I went back to work on Lip Sync Battle in August, when Luna was four months. The show treated me incredibly well—they put a nursery in my dressing room and blew up photos of Luna and John and my family for my wall. When Luna was on set, they lowered the noise levels. They turned down the air so she wouldn’t be cold. Only the most gentle knocking on the door. Pump breaks. I mean, there was no better place to get to go back to work to.
But I was different than before. Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful. My lower back throbbed; my shoulders—even my wrists—hurt. I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me. One thing that really got me was just how short I was with people."
"When You're 'Too Functional' to Have Your Mental Illness Taken Seriously" by Karen Lowinger [The Mighty]
"I can be dying inside while going through the motions of the day. It’s not difficult for me to know how others expect me to act. Acting fine is a cognitive process. You can probably mention right now how an emotionally stable or “mentally sane” person is supposed to act. It really is simple. A generally accepted lifestyle is one where a person wakes up every day, looks presentable, takes care of stuff that needs to be taken care of, eats and goes to sleep. This can sometimes be done regardless of how you feel inside. To say it’s difficult is an understatement, but it’s not impossible."
Demi Lovato discusses her journey with bipolar disorder. [Be Vocal]
"Getting a diagnosis was kind of a relief. It helped me start to make sense of the harmful things I was doing to cope with what I was experiencing.
Now I had no choice but to move forward and learn how to live with it, so I worked with my health care professional and tried different treatment plans until I found what works for me."
Are you a Black mental health professional? Do you do yoga, reiki, massage therapy, herbology, bootcamps, or crystal work? Alex is building a database of Black wellness professionals and practitioners. Be a pal and submit your info to be included in the directory.
Have a mental health-related article, video, event, or resource we should know about? Send it our way!
Previous Mental Health Monday posts:
Mental Health Monday #6: Virtual Therapy, Curbing Self-Doubt, and Motherhood With Mental Illness
Mental Health Monday: Mindfulness, Soldiers with Autism, and Treating Schizophrenia with Weed
Mental Health Monday: Meditating Kids, Trap Yoga, and Boxers with Bipolar Disorder
Mental Health Monday: Hey, Go Check In On Someone
Mental Health Monday: Stock up on self-care. Winter is here.
Mental Health Monday: Here's to a hateration-free 2017.
Mental Health Reading Lists 1 | 2 | 3
Hear the latest episode. | Contribute to The Extraordinary Negroes | Reach out and say hello.
Join us in NYC Saturday 3/11 for #PodLiveNYC
The lovely ladies of Tea with Queen and J. invited us to come drink, chill, and talk and revel in our collective awesomeness with a bunch of other dope independent podcasters and of our amazing listeners. Also in the building: Inner Hoe Uprising, The Cure, The Girth, Bag Ladiez, We Come From Queens, Brunch & Budget, TK in the AM, Queer WOC, and The Bodega Podcast. It's going to be awesome. AND, the best part is that it's $Free.99 if you RSVP, which you can do right here.
See your ass there.
Hear the latest episode. | Contribute to The Extraordinary Negroes | Reach out and say hello.
Mental Health Monday #6: Virtual Therapy, Curbing Self-Doubt, and Motherhood with Mental Illness
Happy Monday! Another chance to be less terrible and do the right thing. Or not. Either way, a The bad news is it's not 2020 yet. The good news is Viola Davis's reign of greatness continueth. She gave another mixtape-worthy speech while accepting her Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for Fences last night. And Sir Mahershala Ali went home with the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his work on Moonlight. And after a wacky mix-up, Moonlight won Best Picture, just like the ancestors intended. Anyhow, on to the good shit.
THIS WEEK'S GOODNESS
A while back, Marc Lamont Hill facilitated a discussion on depression among African-Americans with Bassey Ikpi, director of the Siwe Project; Dr. Jeff Gardere, psychologist and author; and Terrie Williams, author of Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting.
"What virtual therapy means for mental health in the black community" by Kady Phillips [Blavity]
"It's easier to talk to your therapist when you're not in front of them
Similar to having hard conversations via text (because you can't see the person), this experience feels less personal and has been proven to encourage patients to reveal more. In fact, because of this, virtual therapy might just make more of a difference than actual in-person therapy."
"How To Avoid Being Psychologically Destroyed By Your Newsfeed" [Ann Douglas]
"Allow yourself to feel all the feelings
Allow painful emotions to flow through you as opposed to avoiding them (which suppresses positive as well as negative emotions, leaving you feeling emotionally "flat") or dwelling on them (which ties up cognitive resources, leaving you less equipped to solve problems or connect with other people). Remind yourself that feelings come and feelings go -- and you are not your feelings."
"My Worries About Having a Baby as a Woman With Bipolar Disorder" by Crystal Lancaster [The Mighty]
"But I’m so scared. I have been on these pills since I was a teenager. I’m scared to death to simply stop taking them. Will I be able to handle it? Could I cope? I mean, I’ve had a major relapse even when I was on the pills! What happens when I’m off them entirely? It…I don’t know. It seems so unfair. I feel like bipolar disorder makes my life abnormal enough as it is. Is it so wrong to have one thing in my life that is “normal?” So I can at least pretend to be “normal” again? Why should I have to deny myself of one of the things I want most in this world because I developed a mental illness?"
"On Black Masculinity, The Mental Well-Being Of Black Men And 'Fences'" by L. Malik Anderson [Blavity]
"My father often told me as a teenager sometimes I held myself back, like I was in a war with myself. Like Washington’s character I would stare into the void of darkness and got nowhere, never openly facing my anxiety and depression.
I never asked for therapy because of the stigma around mental health. Instead, I spent all my time in church wrestling away my personal demons. I sat with the complacency of dealing with emotions internally. "
"Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head" by Elizabeth Bernstein [Wall Street Journal]
"Create an Imaginary Friend
We’re often nicer to our friends than we are to ourselves. If a friend told you he was telling himself the same irrational things you tell yourself, you’d have no trouble telling him he is wrong.
Imagine that you have a friend who is exactly like you in every respect. Give him a name. Then pretend he is telling himself the same destructive thoughts you tell yourself. How would you refute him? What evidence would you give that his thinking is wrong? Listen carefully to what you are telling your friend. Write it down. Take this to heart."
"Thank You to 'This Is Us' for Portraying a Character With Anxiety" by Monica Drake [The Mighty]
"In Tuesday’s episode, Randall talked about how his adoptive father, Jack, kept his anxiety in check. “Whenever I’d get too in my head, he’d take his hands and put them on both sides of my head and he’d just say, ‘There you go, breathe with me.’ And we’d just sit there, breathing together until it passed.”
He said, “It’s always been like that. Putting the pressure on myself ever since I was a little boy.”"
Do you have a mental health-related story, article, event, or resource we should know about? Send it our way!
Previous Mental Health Mondays:
Mental Health Monday: Mindfulness, Soldiers with Autism, and Treating Schizophrenia with Weed
Mental Health Monday: Meditating Kids, Trap Yoga, and Boxers with Bipolar Disorder
Mental Health Monday: Hey, Go Check In On Someone
Mental Health Monday: Stock up on self-care. Winter is here.
Mental Health Monday: Here's to a hateration-free 2017.
Mental Health Reading Lists 1 | 2 | 3
Hear the latest episode. | Contribute to The Extraordinary Negroes | Reach out and say hello.
Dance in this Moonlight
Passport Confessional: India (part two)
Mental Health Monday: mindfulness, soldiers with autism, and treating schizophrenia with weed
Buenos tardes. Happy Monday, winnerperson. We hope your belly is full and your elbows are ash-free on this fine day, and that you're resting easier knowing that Janet just gave birth to the most talented child the Jackson family has seen in decades. That alone should make your dreams at least 12% sweeter. Anyhow, whether you're chillaxing or pursuing luchini on President's Day, you can take at least a quick moment to breathe, so we've got some guided meditation videos down below. And: stories about the mental warfare that happens when you've got both anxiety and depression, what it's like to live with autism, and a new perspective on weed's usefulness in decreasing symptoms of schizophrenia.
Also, a friendly reminder that Alex is compiling a database of Black mental health professionals, fitness/reiki/massage/herbologist/bootcamp folks, and agencies and programs, so if you are or know a Black therapist or counselor, or know of a resource that would be helpful for someone in need of mental health care or support, please have a gander at and fill out this form to be included. Thank you kindly.
THIS WEEK'S GOODNESS
On her podcast, A Different Perspective, Dr. Amber Thornton's dedicated an episode to Black psychology, the special relationship between Black patients and Black psychologists, and why we need more Black folks as mental health professionals. She also spoke on how she went about becoming a psychologist.
"Empty and Anxious: Life with Anxiety" [NAMI]
"Life with anxiety is being afraid to talk to a person face to face. I don’t know what to say especially when it’s a new person. Should I just introduce myself like “Hey, my name is Desirae and I suffer from depression and anxiety”? No. Then I’ll probably run them off. But if I get past that part without saying all that mumbo jumbo then I freak out about what I should say next. Because you know you don’t want to seem rude and just walk off but you start to panic because you don’t feel comfortable, then these thoughts start rushing through your mind and you don’t know what to do. It’s like your fight or flight sense kicks in and your mind is telling you to run, run as fast as you can."
And so you can get your calm on, here is a five-minute mindfulness meditation video, "Mindfulness Bell." And a mindful breathing exercise.
"Depression may be our brain's way of telling us to stop and solve a problem" by Kevin Loria [Business Insider]
"But there's also a theory that instead of being purely a disorder, depression might be a specific behavioral strategy that we've evolved — a biological adaptation that serves a purpose. As Matthew Hutson explains in a Nautilus feature on the potential evolutionary roots of depression and suicidal behavior, that purpose might be to make us stop to understand and deal with an important problem."
"The Cannabis-Schizophrenia Relationship Is Not What You Think" by Lauren Maul [Merry Jane]
"So, what happens when someone with schizophrenia becomes intoxicated with actual cannabis? A 2006 study found that patients who self-medicated with cannabis reported fewer negative symptoms than those who did not. Less avolution (general lack of drive to perform activities or pursue meaningful goals) and fewer apathy symptoms were detected in patients with schizophrenia who used cannabis than in those patients who did not partake."
"Are you considering suicide? Here’s messages from people who’ve been there!" [Brett Francis]
" When My Day Starts With a Battle in My Head Between Anxiety and Depression" by Heather LaSalle [The Mighty]
"On a regular weekday morning, I start my day with a battle in my head. My depression tells me not to get out of bed at all because it’s not really worth the energy it takes to get out of bed. Then my anxiety chimes in and begins to argue. My depression often has a laid-back kind of voice, while my anxiety talks fast. Those of you who know me can probably tell when my anxiety is high because my outer voice begins to sound like the anxiety voice I hear inside my head. It rushes and is sometimes hard to understand."
"Local high school students create suicide prevent PSA" by Christina Tetrault [Your Central Valley]
"The video explores the daily struggles teenagers face and encourages viewers to reach out when feeling pressure or having suicidal thoughts. The video was published on The Feather, the school's student-ran online newspaper.
"The title of our video is 'Hope: Let's Talk' and I really think that's what I wanted our message to be," said Fresno Christian High Senior Jarrod Markarian. "I just wanted to make sure that was a message that you're not alone in this big world," he said."
"My Journey With Autism" [NAMI]
"I then joined the Marine Corps Infantry, not only to serve my country, but to get people to respect me. I went through three tours and a good deal of abuse for my condition that I didn’t even know I had. I left with an honorable discharge and returned to the civilian world an emotionally and psychologically broken human being. I enrolled in college again. My peers, who I hoped would respect me more for my service, couldn’t understand how such a strange individual could make it through something like the Infantry and gave me even less respect."
Hear the latest episode. | Contribute to The Extraordinary Negroes | Reach out and say hello.
Passport Confessional: India (Part 1)
GOD’S OWN COUNTRY
Kerala, India is known as God’s Own Country. With it’s backwaters and tea plantations it looked like, once again, nothing I’d ever seen before. It’s also respectful to many religions including Jainism, Hinduism, Christianity, and Judaism. It has a thriving Communist Party and embraces socialism. Malayalam is the most common spoken language in Kerala, not Hindi. Ayurvedic treatments, yoga, and amazing South Indian cuisine rounded out the trip.
As with Brazil and Australia, I needed a travel visa to visit India. Every country has its own travel visa rules. But I’ve learned to be patient, do exactly as they say, and come prepared.
This process started in early June. After six temporary IDs, four trips to CKGS (the company the Indian Embassy outsources to process its travel visas), three different web browsers, two tracking IDs, two missing additional proofs of ID, waiting 10-15 business days, and one carefully worded email to sort out the hold-up, I was finally able to book my airfare, lodging, and day trips…just three weeks shy of my scheduled departure.
Given that I was also applying for a design patent at the same time, dealing with two bureaucratic nightmares … tew much.
ANTI-BLACKNESS IN INDIA
I was aware of the caste system before arriving to India. Further reading of abuses to dark-skinned Indians and people of African descent game me pause. But people have a way of showing up and being their best selves. I saw that. But I also experienced staring that was rude at best, hostile at worst. The vast majority of Indian people I met were generous and hospitable. But from strangers, this was my experience:
At every airport. Every mode of transportation. Nearly everywhere I sat to eat, or wash my hands. A lot of lines in my actual journal are dedicated to the anxiety this induced. It was intimidating, awkward — at times humorous. You’re told this happens because many native Indians don’t come across a lot of foreigners, especially those who are black. Given that millions of foreign travelers come to this country every year, I found that hard to believe. I also experienced classic street harassment and unwelcome advances, which I will briefly cover in the next few entries.
I could let those negative experiences define my entire time in India. But that would disregard the kind, intelligent, honest, funny, generous people I met along this journey. Their stories will be here as well.
FORT KOCHI
"ALL YOUR SENSES AROUND BITTER, SPICY, SMOKY, TART, EARTHY ARE TRIGGERED, AND COMING OVER YOU IN THESE WAVES. THEN 20-30 MINUTES LATER, YOU TASTE NOTHING. YOU FEEL NOTHING. LIKE NOTHING EVERY HAPPENED. LIKE GOOD SEX."
My room tempted me to stay in and not be social. But the two days it took to get here reminded me to take advantage of a full day in Fort Kochi. After breakfast, I secured a motor cycle day tour and just loved how freeing it was be on the scooter. One thing I loved about traffic here is that, give or take a cop, it’s self-managed. The combination of drivers, motorcycles, and pedestrians make it impossible to over-regulate. And as long as you’re a little fearless, it’s actually easy and safe to navigate.
My guide took me to the Kochi Museum, the ancient synagogue in Jewtown, and Alleppey Beach. But we mostly rode around town. We were going off the beaten path, as I saw fewer and fewer tourists. Unfortunately, the one place I wanted to visit—the Jainist Temple—was closed to visitors until later this month.
Now, the spicy masala we get in the States—even highly-rated authentic Indian restaurants—don’t make them very spicy. But bae-BAE when I tell you this masala…orgasm was the best word to describe it. Fusion Bay in Fort Kochi is typical of a local favorite: small, unassuming, near touristy areas but not overcrowded. Then it hits you with the best regional cuisine. All your senses around bitter, spicy, smoky, tart, earthy are triggered, and coming over you in these waves. Then 20-30 minutes later, you taste nothing. You feel nothing. Like nothing every happened. Like good sex.
I ventured to a Kathikali show and listened to classical Indian music. That evening’s performance focused on the sitar of Northern India. All I have to say is respect the game. The music was like jazz, with room for solos what seemed like improvisations. I was so overcome with the Raja, the feeling, that I began to cry. During the Q&A, I asked about last song’s meaning. The percussionist said it was meant to evoke a kind of sadness; to live in that feeling. Word, yung.
The show started at 9pm, but on the way it did not take long before street harassers approached. One asked me where I was from. I told him the U.S. and kept walking, but he continued to walk with me. He asked if I was from Jamaica or South Africa. I turned to him and said, in the clearest American accent,
If you know where I’m from, you will respect me.
That stopped him. But left me very terrified. Fort Kochi did not have a lot street lights. And guys kept staring and following. Just when I lost all faith, a friend I made here named Aaron came up on his bike and invited me to dinner. He’s travelled more, and his worldview was more nuanced. I told him how good it was to see him. He told me that there is a saying in Kerala. When a guest comes to our country, we are to treat them like a God, or like the way we would want to be treated.
The next morning, I made my way to Munnar, thinking about the good, bad, and ugly of traveling alone, as an African American. It comes with challenges, but there’s too much kindness and beauty in the world to let it pass you by.
MUNNAR
"THIS AIN'T TEAVANA, WHERE TEA COMES OUT LOOKING LIKE GRANOLA."
The road to Munnar was a long and winding 3 hours and 45 minutes. I snaked up to the mountains of Munnar, with visions of tea plantations in my head. But every few minutes felt like Mad Max. My driver was skilled. But when I saw a skull and crossbones on one of the few traffic signs, my lower-lip curled.
By day, Gruenberg Tea Plantation Haus was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. Up there with the beaches of Jericoacoara, and witnessing the first inauguration of President Obama. Nestled into a working tea garden on all sides. I got a tastefully decorated room, with a balcony and views of the mountains and garden. People sung nightly chants as I walked the garden grounds.
Munnar is more like a farming town. Munnar Village is a small town of about 30,000, all of whom either work in eco-tourism or for the privately-owned tea gardens. Tata tea company is owned and operates exclusively in India and owns really all the gardens in Munnar. Tea pickers live on the grounds, and the company covers housing, utilities, health care, and education for their children. All workers are adult. Most are women, but some are men. They get paid Rs300/day, and work a standard 8-hour shift including breaks.
Munnar was like Napa Valley to us. Where the focus in winemaking is about environmental factors, tea growers focus on the process: The use of silver oak trees planted in set distances, to rehydrate the tea trees. Determining which tea leaves work best. Separating black, green, and white tea leaves. A cutting and drying process that dries the outside, but keeps enough moisture inside the leaves.
They also focus on refined powder tea over our preference for visible leaves. This ain’t Teavana, where tea comes out looking like granola. Rather, the best teas in India come out feeling like talcum powder. For example at the Talayer Tea Factory, they refine up to six types of tea. And guess which one the U.S. gets? The crappiest, grainiest, lowest grade tea. Even I wasn’t smart enough to get some well-refined tea.
Our hotel’s local tour guide and fixer gave me and a few guests a walking tour of the area. Cloves, cardamon, coffee, peppers, tree tomatoes, lemon trees, nutmeg, sandalwood, tumeric, are all grown here. Either cultivated or grow wild on the side of the road. We also went into town, and checked out the markets.
Through the cultivation of quality tea, prayer, meditation, yoga, and Ayurveda, India has cultivated a sense that life is hard. Hard enough to practice relaxation.
In Part 2, I’ll get into the more passive phase of the trip, Tamil Nadu and an Ayurvedic ashram in Palakkad.
Sela Lewis is the owner of Inherent Design by Sela Lewis (IDSL). She is a graphic designer, world traveler, feminist, a pretty decent cook, and a strong believer in the power of fashion and design. Sela has worked in such varied settings as commercial real estate, law firms, retail, and political campaigns. Currently she works in education advocacy. IDSL is based on the idea the strong design is set within the fibers of the work. More Sela: Inherent Design By Sela Lewis