Mental Health Monday #28: How suicide affects surviving siblings, Joe Budden on mental health in rap, etc.

Good day, best friend. Welcome to another round of Mental Health Monday, your weekly dose of stories, resources, and motivation for your everyday life. On last week's edition, writerly Wonder Woman and co-host of the Cinema Bun Podcast opened up about why Lion King brings her joy, how her creative pursuits impact her mental health, and the importance of a solid support system. Have a gander. 

Today, Joe Budden had a moment while discussing mental health in rap after watching Styles P from The Lox discuss his daughter's suicide, a story from a woman who broke up with her white therapist, the effects of suicide on surviving siblings, and more. 

THIS WEEK'S GOODNESS:

"Instead of Killing Myself, I Called a Suicide Hotline" by Joel Leon [Medium]

 She asks your name and she tells you hers and you hope she knows she saved your life, that all that was needed was someone to not want from you, to not want to take anything from you; not to demand or question you or your thoughts or your actions; only giving, only offering, only loving.

"After A Suicide, Sibling Survivors Are Often Overlooked" by Cheryl Platzman Weinstock [NPR]

Until recently, these survivors often fell under the radar. They were overlooked in medical research, and no one understood what they were going through or how to support them. But, according to several studies of survivors, those who lose a sibling to suicide, especially one of the same sex or close in age, have more serious mood disorders and thoughts of suicide themselves than survivors who lose a sibling for any other reason.

"Why I Left My White Therapist" by Chaya Babu [Tonic]

"So how does it feel talking about this with me, a white woman?" Rachel* asked, catching me a little off guard.

It was the end of our session, and she sat perched on the edge of her chair, signaling that our 45 minutes was wrapping up, which I usually gleaned from her glances at the clock. By "this," she meant my increasing sense of chronic fear as a woman of color in Trump's America.

On her podcast "Talking Off The Couch," Dallas, TX-based Licensed Professional Counselor Tatiana Smith discusses the violence in Charlottesville and keeping it together in its wake. 

"Filmmaker Elyse Fox Launched Sad Girls Club to Give Women a Space for Mental Health Support" by Corrina Allen

“A life with depression is my ‘norm,’” explains Fox. “I would describe my time with it as a journey of confusion and ups and downs. Thankfully, I think I’ve somewhat locked down what my ‘depression cycle’ looks like. I don’t really focus on the negative stigma, but it was something that made it difficult for me to speak out about. I’ve learned to live openly and focus on how to love every part of myself.”

"8 Online Alternatives That Are Cheaper Than Traditional In-Person Therapy" by Gretchen Hintze [Mighty]

According to therapist listing site Goodtherapy.org, most therapists charge between $75 to $150 per session with some charging as much as $200. Since most therapists recommend you see them once a week, therapy, while worth it, can quickly get expensive, ranging from $300 to $600 per month — although the cost may be less if you have insurance.

But luckily, a growing number of online platforms offer therapy that can be more affordable and just as affective for people looking for someone to talk to.

"Constant Anxiety Won't Save the World" by Julie Beck [The Atlantic]

Studies show that anxiety can interfere with decision-making and working memory. “Excessive worry can lead to fatigue, lack of concentration, and muscle tightness,” Woodruff says. “The interesting thing is the fatigue and lack of concentration are the opposite of what people are trying to promote when they’re advocating for vigilance.”

Previous Mental Health stuff:

"Mental Health Monday #27: Tonja Renée Stidhum on Lion King standom, the joy of creating, and the power of a support system"

"Mental Health Monday #25: Audra McDonald's Suicide Attempt, Prodigy on Sickle Cell, Not Just Praying About It, etc."

"I Have Depression. I Am Not Ashamed"

Want to share your mental health story? Have some thoughts on self-care, trauma, therapy, or anything else concerning mental and emotional wellness? Send it our way!

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You're so pretty.

What's Your Story?

Alise at Get Some Joy: A Blackstravaganza for Mental Health Awareness @ The Schomburg Center, NYC

I found pieces of a free writing session with one of my besties, Bonique’a, from 2012.  It ostensibly started with her asking me, “What’s your story?” and morphed into an introspective jumble of something else.  I have shared the beginning of this poem in some other things I’ve written, including my forthcoming novel.  Somehow though, I ignored the gems sprinkled throughout the end of the writing session.  Here I present the reworked free write spawned by my bestie who always keeps me thinking and digging deeper.  Thanks, girl.

story (poem)

I like to tell folks I don’t have a story

But I also like to fuck with people

That in itself tells a story.

You confused yet?

Good, now we have something in common

I think that’s how friendships begin.

Not sure if I can maintain it but that’s part of the story too

Pay attention to the details

That’s where the angels are for me

 

I live in devilish broadstrokes

Details are the only way the good creeps in

Giving the true life to the picture

Details are what fill funeral obituaries

Speaking of obituaries…

When I exit this world

I mean exeunt this world

-I am plural-

2 paragraphs can’t hold me

But I digress

Duality

2 of me

Literally in a figurative kinda way

Confusing?

Good.

Want to be consistent.

Craving to be consistent.

Trying for 37 years to tuck in a chain of normalcy

To ward off the thieves of despair and frenetic madness

 

Stolen goods can be replaced.

But how about the bad that no one cared to burgle

Kept bads never seem to get displaced

Instead they are displayed permanently on mantles

Dismantling yet another plank of sanity

 

Isn’t insanity just the outside half sibling of sanity?

The one no one bothers with?

 

The ugly one.

The one we’d rather not discuss?

Daddy’s indiscretion.

The family secret.

The whisper.

Do you know the feeling of going through as the inaudible glitch.

an aberration.

But maybe that’s my story.

The one told in hushed tones in back rooms.

Reposted with permission from In My Mental Mind.

Alise Leslie is a poet, author, blogger, spoken-word artist, and mental health advocate currently residing in Durham, NC. She writes at the blog, “In My Mental Mind: a black girl’s mental health journey," focusing on mental health issues, particularly for women and men of color, through essays, personal stories, poetry, and music.  Her lipstick game is most likely better than yours. 

More Alise: In My Mental Mind | Facebook | Twitter